Why teach parents?

The influence of media and peers is often overlooked when it comes to parenting and parenting skills. Many children now arrive at kindergarten stressed out, with a full schedule of tutors and outside supplemental learning. All too often, parents seem to be focusing on how much their children can be pushed to achieve, and steering away from whole child development. Sadly, a competitive focus that measures one child's progress against another child's progress fails to take into account the fact that children reach developmental milestones at different rates. 

At Lanai Road Elementary, volunteer Robbie Solomon, in  conjunction with the kinder team, has developed several workshops to help educate parents about the different rates at which their children will develop, to reassure them about what "normal" development looks like, and to help them set their own priorities in a more realistic way. 

The "Kinder Orientation" workshop is held on the first day of school, and explains how kindergarten at Lanai Road is structured, what parents can expect from the school -- and what the school expects from parents. 

Prior to receiving the first report card and participating in the first Parent/Teacher conference, Ms. Solomon provides another workshop to explain the process to parents to help them set realistic expectations so they will be able to get the most from the conference.  

This year, Ms. Solomon was able to incorporate information from the "Developmental Assets" training that took place in June 2011. Additionally, a letter was sent home to kinder families prior to the winter break, that also touched on the Developmental Assets and included some suggested activities families could try with their children. The letter is printed below:

Dear Kindergarten Families,

Last June the Kinder team attended a training on “Developmental Assets” and learned something interesting -- research shows that students in grade 6 and above share 

5 simple indicators that are closely linked to academic success & overall satisfaction later in life:  

1. Service to others -- Young person (age 12 and up) serves in the community one or more hours per week.
2. Creative Activities -- Young person spends 3 or more hours per week practicing music, theater or other arts.
3. Youth Programs -- Young person spends 3 or more hours per week in sports, clubs, or organizations at school or in the community.
4. Religious Community -- Young person spends 1 or more hours per week in activities in a religious institution.
5. Reading for Pleasure -- Young person reads for pleasure at least 3 hours per week*

*The Search Institute (www.search-institute.org) surveyed students in grades 6-12 in 38 states from 318 communities, checking against U.S. Census data to ensure that the students surveyed reflected national demographics. Responses were collected from 1995 to the present.

Winter break is the perfect opportunity to spend some good quality family time together enjoying some of the above activities together over the holidays.

Below are listed several optional exercises to help children practice self control, identify feelings and engage in critical thinking - all important skills for children to master at this developmental stage. These might be fun to try with your child at home.

1. Ask your child to draw a picture of something they didn’t think they could do at first, but did.  Ask:  “How did you feel when it worked out?”
2. Have your child draw a picture of something they can do all by themselves. Ask: "How did you learn to do it? How does it feel to know you can do it on your own?"
3. Draw a picture of your family having a party. Ask: "Why are you having a party? Who will you ask to come? What food will you serve? What games will you play?"
4. Draw a picture of your kitchen. Ask: "What rules do we have at home about the kitchen? What would (choose one: your neighbor, your Grandma, your sitter) say if you were doing something you're not supposed to do?
   

Identifying feelings is an important part of learning and practicing self control. We will be working more on this at school.  Meanwhile, at home, you might try:  

1. Choose a boy or girl friend or relative your child knows well. Tell them: “Your friend is sad. Draw or write what you would do to cheer them up.” 

Sometimes practicing self control means learning NOT to do something.  (NOT to eat too many cookies, NOT to tattle on your sister.)

1. Consider playing a game:  instead of “Follow the Leader”  try: DON’T FOLLOW THE LEADER. 

Have fun!

Wishing you all a happy, healthy holiday season and a fabulous winter break.

Sincerely,

Lanai Road Kinder Team

These exercises are adapted from the book Building Character from the Start: 201 Activities to foster creativity, literacy, and play in K-3 by Susan Ragsdale and Ann Saylor